Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Missing My Dad

It was six years ago today that my dad lost his battle with cancer. I still get tears in my eyes just thinking about him and how much I miss him. And while I always knew he was a great dad, I don't think I really appreciated everything he did for us until I became a parent. My dad was a professional violinist and taught grades 4 through 12 as his full-time job but also played in the South Dakota Symphony and Sioux City Symphony for about four decades. He loved his work and playing violin...but he loved his family so much more. I know how busy his schedule was and yet I don't remember a dance recital or theatrical performance of me and my sisters that he missed. He was always there cheering us on and telling us how beautiful we were and how wonderful he thought we were. I think I took those compliments for granted at the time but now know they were helping to create who I am today. And now, as I've watched my husband become a father... I realize how much of "daddy's girl" I really was. Our 2-year-old, Sydney, is a HUGE daddy's girl. There are some things that she will only do with daddy...like tickle tortures or rough-housing or climbing up his body. All things that I used to do with my dad. And I know that there'll be things that she'll only talk to Dad about someday... just like the things I only wanted to share with my dad. And even at her young age, I am struck by how much she desires his approval. Just like I used to do... and still do with my dad. The selfish side of me so wishes that Dad could have met Sydney (although I know they'll meet again someday)...she is so like him sometimes. AND she has his big ears! :) I just know they would have been best buds! The tears come even as I write this... but I always try to turn the sadness into an opportunity to remember the good times. I am so grateful that I had a great dad... and just as grateful that Sydney will have the same experience. Dads mean so much!! Love you Dad!!!
This is an oldie but a goodie... Can you guess which one is me?!


  1. I too long for my father.I was only 31 when I lost my father in 2005 to pancreatic cancer. I was a daddys girl and spoiled. So I can imagine the way you feel. As the years went by I found joy in my son, (my only child) and now he is 19. Time has certainly made each year better, but the pain is certainly there. A father's love never ends.I wish you much happiness and many more blessings with your family.

  2. My father is now battling cancer. Even at the age of 46 i am still a daddy's girl. Our fathers are suppose to be strong and there for us. To watch them go thru the illness is hard. I wish you blessings and pray that each year gets easier for you.